“ It’s strange how your childhood sort of feels like forever. Then suddenly you’re sixteen and the world becomes an hourglass and you’re watching the sand pile up at the wrong end. And you’re thinking of how when you were just a kid, your heartbeat was like a kick drum at a rock show, and now it’s just a time bomb ticking out.
“ I wish you were beside me because all I want is to cuddle up and fall asleep while listening to the rain and your heartbeat.

yougotvexed:

reasons to let me cuddle you:

  • I will stick my cold hands all over your body
  • I’ll probably fall asleep on you and make cute sleep noises
  • I can lay there long enough for the second coming of christ
  • nuzzling???
  • I will be smiling the whole time
  • you’re warm and I’m not
  • let me leech your heat
  • please

(via twistedtorture)

writer-of-wrongs:

Today my history professor, a rumpled, pot-bellied guy in his mid thirties, walked into class looking all excited, which made the rest of us nervous, because he’s known for pop quizzes. He took a deep breath and said, “I have been waiting for this moment my entire teaching career. So please, pull out your textbooks and…” in a British accent, glowering at us all ferociously, “TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR.”

We. All. DIED.


I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS.

(via twistedtorture)

Things people with Social Anxiety do

survivide:

•go to the bathroom to escape

•feel very uncomfortable without a phone or some other crutch

•dwell on a small awkward moment for much longer than necessary

•never go to any social event without a person that makes you feel comfortable

•follow said person way too much

•worry about the person beginning to find you obnoxious

•faking an illness to get out of a social event

•Don’t buy something necessary because the cashier is intimidating. 

(via thequeenblogger)

clannyphantom:

*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine

(via snapchatnudes)